Monday, October 20, 2008

Too Much

I've been having lots of messed up thoughts in my mind lately. It's mostly got to do with what I can believe in. I want to think the best of people but somehow, they always give me a reason to doubt them. Why must it be that way? It's so tiring when I have try to filter out which part of the conversations are truth and which are lies. Most of the time, I'll fail completely. The easier way is just to accept the lies as truth and move on. But the betrayal always lingers in my mind, making me uneasy and upset. Can I continue with a friendship laced with lies? If I do, aren't I a conspirator? If it's just a white lie, I have no problem with it. People tell white lies all the time but it doesn't hurt anyone, not even themselves. For example...are you wearing any panties? Yes? Great! No? Great! See, whether the person is telling the truth about wearing any underwear or not doesn't hurt anyone. Those kinda lies are okay with me.

But lies are being spin like a web and I don't like it one bit. Can you help a serial liar? I really doubt so. They've spinned the web so tightly that they're killing themselves first and there's no way you can pull them out. The only way out, is from the inside. The person must stop lying and admit to the people that cares about them about the deception. Once the trust in a relationship is shaken, it's not that easy to mend. Things can never go back to the way it were. Just like Humpty Dumpty, even if you piece it back together, there will be cracks.

Why does things have to get so complicated as we get older? Money, career, family, friends, life, global's all too much. Why the rat race? Where's the bigger picture? Our generation should be smarter right? Don't we get it that a quality life is better than quantity? I can't help but getting affected by the rat race. Everyone is in it. I've been asking myself many times these past few months...Do I want to be in the rat race? I still do not have a clear answer and I can't be sure I could survive the race. But then again, if I don't try, I'll never know.

How great is the rat race? Are there roses to smell? Rainbow to admire? Sunset to awe? Beautiful natural wonders are all around us and yet we don't notice it as we race on by. And yet, roses will bloom, rainbow will shine after rain and the sun will never fail to set for a new day to begin tomorrow.

A new day begins tomorrow...we must believe that.

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