Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Drowing Alone

I'm had a really awful time today.
Something happened and made me sad.
Now, the feeling of loneliness is overwhelming.

I was drowning in my own tears.
All alone.
As there is no one.
I scrolled through my phonebook and wondered who I could call.
So many of them I haven't spoken to for a some time.
Many of them, is not someone I want to show my tears to.
I called a couple of people.
They were busy.
So there's no one.

But me.

Everyone is busy.
But me.

Everyone has something to do.
But me.

I need to talk to someone really badly.
But there's nobody.
Not even the one person who should have time for me.

So here I am.
Still drowning.
'Cause I just realized...I am all alone.
So does it matter...if I disappear?
Would it matter?
Who'll notice I wonder?
Someone will eventually...when I don't update this blog anymore.

So really...why bother?
I'm tired.
I tried...but why must I always be the one who is wrong?
When will it stop?
I want my own space. I need my own space.

I'm only human.
Who has lots of problems of her own.
Who has insecurities issues to deal with.
Who has many uncertainties to figure out.
Who is wondering where she is heading.

'Cause I'm lost.
With no idea which direction to follow.
I can't see the light.
I can't even see the tunnel.
So where am I?
I wish I knew.

All I see in the mirror, is me.
Alone.

1 comment:

Baby said...

is there something wrong?

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